So describe this election to your average well-off citizen in 1800.
A governor of what was not even U.S. property then who everyone loves because he lost a lot of weight because in the future there is too much food,
A black man, Senator from a state that also did not exist then,
A woman, Senator from New York, wife of a former President from a non-existent state,
A lawyer from the Carolinas(ok, that one, they would be fine with) whos main issue is alleviating poverty!,
An Italian!,
An elf!
Some wacko who thinks its important to listen to the Constitution!
A Governor of Massachusetts whose largest perceive hurdle is adherence to a faith that does not exist yet.
A former Senator from Tennessee whose main recognition comes from the fact he is an actor(o no) on a play transmitted through magic weekly into a box powered by lightning.
A war hero Senator(they like) from a state that doesn’t exist yet(they get confused) who flew giant machines(wow) and was shot down and captured in the far east!(Don’t they have dragons there?)
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Describing the candidates of 1800 to a modern:
A slave-owning farmer who enjoyed a large harem
A War hero from Newark who enjoyed dueling and shot one of the other candidates
A lawyer from Massachusetts (Yeah whatever, but he was the one who got killed in the duel).
A retired Army general who pissed off the French to no end (we could probably get this guy elected today)!
A former governor of New York and a Supreme Court Justice, who also served in Congress and as an Ambassador and helped write the Constitution. And just as would be expected, he came in dead last. Fucking know-it-all.
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